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Friday, October 20, 2006

Is It Safe Yet?

I’ve been away since April – was busy contesting the Issues Of The Day™ with others in another locale – but I think maybe this place is safe for me to return to without attracting the devils who torment my soul people who seemed to be so annoyed with my points of view.

Whew!

There is, of course, lots to talk about. First of which would be my current position that the Democrats will fail (once again) to lie their way back into the House of Representatives. This has many positive possibilities, not the least of which is not letting Jack Murtha become the Majority Leader. After all, since he’s currently the leader of the al-Qaeda Caucus in the House, why spoil his fun by having him take on a post representing fewer Members?

Another beneficial effect of the Democrats failing (again) will be the weeks of somewhat less-than-tasteful glee I’ll have watching them flail about in a world-class conniption fit. I can hear the keening already. Too bad the elections don’t happen on Halloween – it’d make a great House of Horrors display.

Speaking of which, I thought about touring the local spook shows to see whether I could catch a bit of waterboarding. Gotta see what that’s all about. The thing about it that’s always struck me as a little odd was that I’d figure the IslamoDems would be grateful for a bit of bathing. But what do I know? Maybe flees are a fashion statement.

I’ll ask Alec Baldwin next time I see him.

...

I got a few e-mails last week from a friend of mine. He and I have been on-again off-again about All Things Political, and last week’s missives from him reached a new level of, um, creativity. I made a point of steering clear of saying anything that was specific to him. He was not quite as particular. In one e-mail I think I counted “Nazi” four times, and he ended up calling me a “good little goosestepper,” because my unhappiness for George W Bush was substantially less than my distaste for Osama bin-Ladin – something that differentiated me from my friend.

For the most part I played it cool along the extended conversation, taking the time to enjoy a bit of unseemly, but wholly justified, schadenfreude by wording things in such a way as to visit upon him maximum duress. It seemed to have worked because his level of rhetoric finally reached the lofty levels of your most dedicated Sheehan whack-job . Which was kind of weird because it was his persistent contention that the Dems were going to win in November. I kept thinking to myself, “dude! Why the hostility?”

Eventually, though, he did return the favor by getting under my skin. The repeated references to my supposed adherence to Nazi principals became somewhat annoying, as did his contention that, unless I’d served in the military as he had, I really wasn’t educated enough to discuss how much Bush = Hitler. He then wrongly accused me of calling him un-American (which I most certainly did not), which I found pretty amusing (not really) because by calling me various forms of “Nazi” he’d been in essence doing that to me the whole time (History note: The United States fought a war with Nazi Germany from late 1941 until mid 1945 – which pretty well puts Nazis in the category of “un-American”).

But the hypocrisy was par for the course during the conversation. At one point he’d accused me and mine of name-calling, in the same e-mail where he, well, called me and mine names. When I briefly pointed out this potential inconsistency he did fess up...

And then blamed it on – you guessed it – me and mine.

It reminded me of that scene in Forrest Gump where Jenny’s abusive pro-Vietcong boyfriend explained his less-than-admirable treatment of her (i.e. beating the piss outa her) by saying, “it's this damn war and Johnson's lies!”

Heh. Well, stupid is a stupid does.

...

I’m not going to promise to make anything regular out of my participation on this blog – being a conservative means you should try to be upfront and honest, unlike... eh, whatever – but I may be back from time to time. Who knows?

...

And now a note to my friend: Ever hear that old adage about not picking a fuss with somebody who buys ink by the barrel? Well for god’s sakes don’t do it with somebody who gets pixels for free! Hahahaha.
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