Digitus Impudicus

Long-Time Political Pundit, Teresa Heinz Kerry, Sets Us Straight On Foreign Policy

Well, The Missus was in Arizona today for a fundraiser, where she educated we “idiots” and “scumbags” on President Bush’s errors regarding Iraq.

The Business Journal in Phoenix reports:

The spouse of Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry also hit President Bush on Iraq, saying it should not be equated with anti-terrorism efforts and that the current administration chose to create a "hotbed for terrorism" in Iraq when dictator Saddam Hussein did not pose an immediate threat. Heinz Kerry also said she agrees with her husband that a military draft may be reinstated under Bush.

I just knew it! I knew that wrascally bastard Bush was planning something sinister for after the election.

In a rare moment of religious fervor I am down on my knees in adoration of this great mind, this prophet, Saint Teresa!



But wait! There’s more! St. Teresa has another pearl to cast before us.

In regard to the hunt for terror leader Osama Bin Laden, Heinz Kerry said she could see the al-Qaida chief being caught before the November election.

"I wouldn't be surprised if he appeared in the next month," said Heinz Kerry, alluding to a possible capture by United States and allied forces before election day

See!? SEEE!? Bush probably has bin-Laden stashed somewhere (probably the same room in the White House basement where Oliver North committed his crimes!). Then, three days before the election... Boom! Theatric puff of smoke, and Fox News will be showing Shrub doing the WWF SmackDown on bin-Ladin in the Rose Garden!

Folding chairs will be a flyin’, pork rinds handed out to the press, and then Brit Hume, Sean Hannity, Osama, and Bush-League will be locking arms, 10-gallon hats in place, singing The Battle Hymn of the Republic, with the cross-shaped podium from the RNC convention burning in the foreground.