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Saturday, April 10, 2004

As always: The views, opinions, rants, perspectives and delusions expressed on this blog are mine alone. They do not reflect, and should not be understood to reflect, the views of any other entity whatsoever.
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Ted Kennedy and His Shi’a Pets

Okay, to all you skeptics (i.e. cooler heads), punch holes in this syllogism:

It is the stated goal of al-Sadr, the youthful and brutal Shi’a leader behind much of the turmoil and bloodshed in Iraq this past week, to convince the American populace that we cannot win in Iraq and should leave. He wishes to defeat our troops in the field, preferably slaughtering as many as possible, by taking from them the one thing he really has any chance of affecting: The fighting will of the American people. He is, because of his actions, an enemy of the United States and is actively making war against us.

Senator Edward M. Kennedy is attempting to destroy the fighting will of the American people by lying, propagandizing, spreading sedition, and actively attempting to defame the American President and his motives. He hopes to so drain the American people’s will to fight that they will withdraw their support of the war and recall the troops. His goals, paired down to their essentials, differ not one iota from those of al-Sadr.

Therefore: Senator Edward M. Kennedy is, because of his willful and intentional actions, an enemy of the United States and is actively making war against us.

Go ahead: take a crack at the above. Prove me wrong. Is my conclusion faulty? Is my major premise incorrect? How do you get around my minor premise? Are the facts I stated somehow not facts?

Extra Credit: Can you come up with other names for the person described in the minor premise? (Hint: James Earl Car...)

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Homegrown Religious Nutballs

Performers Whip Easter Bunny At Church Play

A church in western Pennsylvania trying to teach about the crucifixion of Jesus performed an Easter show with actors whipping the Easter bunny and breaking eggs, upsetting several parents and young children.

...

Melissa Salzmann, who brought her 4-year-old son J.T., said the program was inappropriate for young children. "He was crying and asking me why the bunny was being whipped," Salzmann said.


Paaaalease. What is this? Will some of you religious people explain this to me? Or, as I suspect, is this yet another demonstration of what happens when you let the intellectually-challenged play unmonitored by adults?

Put this on the shelf right next to the gory abortion reenactments in Christian church Halloween horror houses and the buffoons in the Philippines nailing themselves to crosses this weekend.

You know, the shelf labeled "Ass-hats."

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It's About You

An Open Note To The Iraqi Governing Council

I read it again today: Council members have expressed increasing anger over the U.S. siege, calling it a "mass punishment" for 200,000 residents (of Fallujah). [DANIEL COONEY, AP].

Fine. Be angry with us. Pee on our leg all you want over what we do, what we need to do to forward our mission. I don't friggin' care.

You people seem to have lost the thread here, somehow lost track of the situation in which you find yourself. Lost your grip on the real world.

Let me help:

The United State and her allies invaded and now occupy your country. That's right: you lost a war to us. We won. You people couldn't keep your house in order, sometimes setting fire to your neighbor's houses and even occasionally butchering your brothers and sisters within your own house. Then you asshats started getting anxious. Started getting all uppity, thinking you had the right stuff to take us on… Shooting at our planes, ignoring the demands we'd made of you the last time we kicked your ass, plotting to kill one of our former presidents.

You felt free to give us the royal bird. Fine. Look what it got you.

So there you are now. An occupied country. Read it again: OCCUPIED. We are there for as long as we see fit. WE make the decisions. WE decide when we leave. WE decide when you are capable of running your own affairs again. So get angry all you want. Whine, moan, grumble and gripe. Whatever.

But as long as you people can't prove yourself mature enough to begin that rather difficult process of running whatever form of democracy you end up creating, we will remain in your country. Dominating both it, and you.

As long as you have personal armies (??!) you will have a foreign invader occupying your land. As long has you allow the people who used to run your country free reign to bear arms against us (and your own citizens, by the way) you will have a foreign invader occupying your country.

Believe me. We'd like nothing better than to pack up and leave your "beautiful homeland." But until you people can run it in a mature and responsible way we have to stay. We've been through this before, you know. We were there back in 1991. And we agreed to leave on the condition that you people would stay out of trouble.

What do you do instead? You go right back to beating up on your own people, stockpiling all sorts of nasty weapons you all said you wouldn't, and pissing us off some more. Frankly, I'm tired of you all.

You people are the best prepared of all Arab people to strap together a functioning democracy. You're secular enough, you're well educated enough. You certainly have plenty of personal and collective motivation to do this thing right. And you have a sense of pride (which we're really counting on, actually, though you don't understand why yet, I guess).

So put your house in order and prove to us, and the rest of the world, that when we leave we won't have to turn right around again and pay you yet another visit, spilling more of our very precious blood, and quite a bit of our treasure, putting things right for you.

Until then, please excuse us if we happen to ignore your bitching. If you all are so capable of running your own affairs then show us how it's done.

...

Saddam? What? You're blaming all the past indiscretions of your nation on that one guy? That disheveled, corrupt and pathetically weak man we found in a hole?

Remember how embarrassed you all were that he surrendered so cravenly? He encouraged all of you to go out and resist the invader. Fight to the death! Defend your homeland even if you die trying! Ha. What bullshit. And you let him run your affairs for 35 years! This isn't about him. This is about you.

And you damn well know it. That's why you were so embarrassed. We all heard the collective forehead slap when you realized that you all had been snookered. Badly.

You see: We, too, have noticed all those rocket-propelled grenades and AK-47s running like sand through your streets. All those weapons every single person seems to have ready access too. What do you people do? Hand them out as party favors?

So, in a land of 35 million people, with what seems like 70 million small arms of one variety or another, all those armed people sit idly by while a coward struts around your capital like he owns the place. Again: This isn't about him. It's about you.

All this vigor you all seem to be applying to trying to oust us might have been a little more useful if had been applied to, well, ousting Saddam. You know?

Sorry to put such a fine point on it, but we're in your country because you people chose to suffer the decisions and depredations of your "fearless" leader. You people think you have the balls to defeat a fully-armed, extremely well-trained, professional military (the best the world has ever seen, by the way), then why in hell didn't you have the balls to take on the 4th-rate "army" backing up Saddam Hussein?

No. This isn't about him. It's about YOU.
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Friday, April 09, 2004

Oh, Really?

I’ll say it if nobody else will: These asshats on the 9/11 commission who kept on asking, essentially, “why, oh why didn’t Bush preemptively strike against Afghanistan before the attacks on the World Trade Center? Did he not see it coming?” are disingenuous, deceitful and feckless.

These are the same kind of people who berate our President about our preemptive action in Iraq. Does anybody in their right mind really believe that these people would have supported a preemptive attack on Afghanistan absent 9/11?

I almost call them fools. But I, upon reflection, do not really believe that. I don’t believe they’re mistaken, misguided, merely wrong. No. They are not doing other than what they know they want to do. They are of the same mind as Senator Edward Kennedy.

I used to ask myself, “can they not see!?” “Do they not know what effect their words will have, both on our troops and the enemy they face?” “Are these Democrats so naïve that they think conferencing and group-hugs will dissuade these fanatics from trying to kill our soldiers and marines? Us?”

No. They know. They know exactly what they’re doing. They’re taking a calculated risk. And they’re doing so for a very specific purpose: they’re risking the lives of American soldiers and citizens in a calculated attempt to regain that which they love above ALL else: power.

They know their words will hearten our enemies. A relative of that ludicrous sheik in Fallujah referenced the same concept that Pol Pot did: he mentioned that they knew they could not force the American military from Iraq, so their real goal was to force George W. Bush from the White House.

Same goal as the Democrats. Internationalism is one thing, but this confluence of motives and goals and actions has an ancient and spectacularly clear name: Treason.

For me the gloves are off. I’m no longer willing to credit these people with mere foolishness. They’re too consistent in their actions for that. Their actions are coordinated and purposeful. This is no mistaken, confused and foolish behavior. They know exactly what they’re doing, and they know that it will kill Americans. And they know that as more Americans die in Iraq their chances of winning the White House improve. This conscious and treacherous war plan of theirs is not a leap of logic for them: They’ve done this before. In fact, they’re so dismissive of the analytical abilities of the American populous that they even reference its first successful use: Vietnam.

Our enemy in Vietnam knew he could not best us in a toe-to-toe fight. So, wisely, he chose to siphon off the morale of the American public. And John Kerry, et al, did everything they could to assist our enemy with his primary goal: sap the American will to fight.

So, in a very real way, this is indeed Vietnam again. Not for our military. Not for our national leadership. Not, yet, for the American public. But definitely for the Democrats.

They’re not stupid, as they keep reminding us. I don’t know how I came to this idea that they are stupid. I’ve always seen them as foolish, but now I don’t think that’s the case. They are shrewdly re-using a strategy that was successful for them in the past: defeatism and moral corrosives splashed on the fortress walls of American resolve.

The problem is that I always thought that it was unimaginable that American political leaders would be so willingly disloyal, so sinister and brutal, that they would, as a Party, actively pursue the aims of our enemies to achieve their own goals.

I guess I’m the naive fool, after all.

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As mentioned previously: Nothing printed here shall be understood to be the position of the Government of the United States of America, it’s subsidiary governments, departments, or the opinions of anybody else whatsoever. These are my thoughts, and mine alone.
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